So Exciting!

I’ve been doing so many exciting things since recovering from chemical and food sensitivities! Travel to classes, to visit friends and family, and to make new flower essences.  Exploring new foods, especially fermented foods like kefir, water kefir, dosas & idlis, and beet kvass…and chocolate, which I hadn’t eaten in over 30 years.

Teaching Access Consciousness™ classes, what fun! I am now a Talk To The Entities™ Faciliator, Right Body For You™ Facilitator, Body Process Facilitator and Bars™ Facilitator. I’d love for you to join me for classes sometime. I’ll be expanding into teaching about flower essences and nature intelligence, too.

Along with the new, I am still doing the things I’ve enjoyed all along, like planting new areas of my garden, photographing nature, dyeing silk with artisanal plant dyes mostly from my garden, hunting mushrooms (and now I can eat them yum…), making new essences in my garden and the forest.

At last I am getting down to real butt-in-chair work and updating and expanding my websites. Stay tuned for new essences and new photos and new possibilities.

Thanks for joining me on the exciting ride!



Relating, Relationship, Connection? Communion?

Hosting Susan Lazar Hart for the Right Relationship For You classes has brought up a lot of questions for me. More questions than responses…until this week, when insights have started to flow.

I became aware that my usual idea that relationships are primarily with other people is just the tip of the iceberg. I have a relationship with myself, and with my body, too. What about the Earth? food? money? the past and future? Can’t we potentially have relationships with anything and everything? In any moment, whatever I put my attention on seems to create a relationship.

I’ve pictured each relationship as a wire connecting me to another person, with an electric charge flowing through the wire. Some charges are attracting. Others are repelling.

A relationship is a connection whether it feels good or bad. We have relationships with people we dislike and we are just as connected to them as people we like. When there’s no distance between me and what I’m connected with, it feels like union, and sometimes it’s horrible, like abuse you can’t escape from in that moment. And sometimes that closeness is really really yummy, like communion you hope goes on and on. It seems to me that the longing for communion brings us into connection with more and more of life. 

Relating seems to be what I do in a relationship. I relate to what I’m connected with. If I don’t like it I may push it away, or contract away from it with avoidance. If I long for communion I may try to tug it closer. Relating seems to be what I do all day long! “I want MORE of THAT!” “I want less of that, go away!” Push and pull, push and pull. Trying to control, trying to get what I want. Trying to make my life into the life I want it to be.

There are relationships that seem to have fixed lengths of wire between me and that. Money is like that. There was a set distance between me and how much money I made, so that the amount of money that came to me would stay the same for long periods of time, and then stretch bigger temporarily, and then snap back to the old length. That is changing as I do more and more Access Consciousness, and I still wonder: what is it that sets the distance between me and money? What would no distance be like? Communion with abundance?

My analytical mind could spin all this out on and on. What I love about Access classes, and especially about Susan Lazar Hart, is that all that spinning out, and all the wires of various lengths and charges of attraction and repulsion suddenly just GO AWAY. There I am, in a room with other people and so much space! What a relief! The wires and the thinking are gone and a whole lot of it never comes back after the class is over. As in, never comes back. Ever.

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Transformation is Fun!

I’ve been having loads of fun with the adventure of transforming my life and my body with the  potent tools I’ve learned. Access Consciousness combines delightfully with the Emotion Code, with Jo Dunning’s Quick Pulse (I am now a practioner), and of course with flower and other vibrational essences. Access Consciousness offers dozens of hands-on energies called “body processes” which are fun and create a lot of change! I’m still expanding my awareness of the possibilities for these…they seem to be endless! I especially like these–unliked the Bars, the body processes are quite effective when done on oneself. What else is possible?

As my body changes, and my awareness expands, I discover new dimensions of the world that I’d blocked out by limiting my awareness, and refusing to acknowledge that I was limited there. You probably see people do this all the time: someone you know has a big judgement about something, “Oh, I don’t go there,” or “I don’t eat that.” I remember my parents doing this a lot with people, “You don’t want to go to their house, we don’t visit people like that.” And with subjects, “You don’t want to waste your time on astrology, it’s all junk.” Just to give a few examples! I discovered I had created the judgement to justify that I was refusing to be aware of what actually is. As soon as I dissolve that–and it very often shows up after I’ve let go of something else–it’s as if a new color is added to the world! Suddenly I perceive more space, more ease, more life, more possibilities, where before there had been a sort of flatness, a monotone to some aspect of life. How cool is that? What else is possible?

Words are a Little Different in Access Consciousness

A friend who had her first exposure to Access Consciousness recently, asked me what is meant by “contribute”. This was a bit of a mystery to me when I was first diving into Access. I was accustomed to thinking of contributions as donations, for instance to charity, or to contribute money to a collection someone was taking up for a friend in need. It took me awhile of learning about Access and being aware of the energy of words to get the “new” meanings, which are really the older ones.

Here’s some of what I wrote to my friend:

The founder of Access Consciousness, Gary Douglas, is an investigator into the roots of the words we use every day, which often have different meanings in current usage than their historical meanings that evolved over millennia. Words carry the energy of their historical meanings, even tho we may mean something else by them now. Language is wired into the brain and DNA, and Wave Genetics has demonstrated that the body and DNA respond physically to frequencies including word frequencies. (I haven’t actually heard anyone in Access mention Wave Genetics; I just happen to know that.)

Long answer to short question continues:
Gary doesn’t like to use “help” or “need” or “want” or “give” or a number of other words because they create something different than what we like to think they mean. As infinite beings, would we actually require help, or need anything? He recommends “gift” instead of “give” and “require” instead of “need” and “desire” instead of “want” because those words mean what they say. He doesn’t use “love” very much because it has so many meanings it easily is read differently than what’s intended. The vibration of “gratitude” or “caring” or “kindness” are closer to what we often mean by “love” when we aren’t talking about loving an icecream flavor or a movie, or when we say making love, or when we get into relationships with family which can have all sorts of other energies also. Another example is “goal” which comes from the word “gaol” (pronounced like “jail” which “gaol” is an alternative spelling for–the 2 words mean the same thing), which is not exactly what we’d like to be aiming for!

So “contribute” is a word used in Access Consciousness that is what we do towards greater consciousness, the “kingdom of we” and with each other, instead of helping and other words that carry the energy of inequality or hidden meanings from the past. When we are being our infinite sparkling selves, we are contributing to everyone and everything around us just by being. Every molecule in the universe is willing to contribute to us when we ask and are willing to receive the contribution. Contribution can take any form–it can be information; or what we would usually call help such as with carrying something heavy; it can be money, taking on a task, asking the question no one else is willing to ask–all sorts of things.

Access Consciousness is really interesting that way–it is about creating more awareness about everything in our lives and our world, and then the increased awareness creates different choices, and those choices create changes in our culture with each other. And it’s changing all the time as we change and the energies change. It’s not a static system that is taught, it is a dynamic set of tools that expands all the time as new possibilities are perceived.

New Sunflower Flower Essences

I made flower essences of 3 exciting sunflower varieties this summer. “Rosy Eclipse”, “Tiger’s Eye”, and a variety I call “Wednesday’s Child.” I am grateful and amazed at how different each variety can be…they all carry the characteristic sunflower essence signature of extremes around the theme of self-esteem.

Sunflower Tiger’s Eye Flower Essencesunflwrtigereye
Like a crouching tiger that springs, claws extended, our self-defenses can be ferocious! Those with low self-esteem may have hair-trigger survival instincts implanted during abuse, trauma, or from being in violent circumstances. Helps to balance the personality when PTSD has thrown the nervous system askew. Or, for those who cannot stand up for themselves, this flower essence catalyzes the inner tiger. Wouldn’t you rather have choice? You can purr, you can growl, you can roar! 

Sunflower Wednesday’s Child Flower Essence
“Woe is me, I’ve lost my light, how shall I ever find it?” is the refrain of this flower, and what it heals. For of course we cannot ever really lose our light, it is eternal and ever-present. It just seems like we have, when we contract, construct walls around ourselves, and how awful does that feel?
This plant bloomed from a mix so I don’t know the actual name of the variety, if it has one… This name came to me as I made the essence and is so fitting. 


Sunflower Rosy Eclipse Flower Essence
Rosy Eclipse Sunflower is for healing any oppressive time, memories, situations or relationships that still linger energetically due to the emotional bonds we had within them, despite how limiting those situations were. The energetic field of the memories “eclipse” the inner radiance of the self. When we identify with the limited sense of ourselves when we were oppressed, in order to hold onto the emotional, even loving bonds we had with people no longer physically present, we’ve stalled ourselves in time and in life. This essence restores the sunny self to its glowing radiance, so the soul can be connected with dear ones without reliving the oppressive memories. 

Ragweed Flower Essence

e-rageedRagweed is such an interesting plant. Many people (here in New England, at least), think that ragweed is another name for goldenrod. Allergies to ragweed pollen are widespread and severe, sending asthmatics to the ER, creating all sorts of upper respiratory symptoms, ear, sinus, and immune symptoms including  joint and muscle and other tissue pain and swelling.

The ragweed/goldenrod confusion seems to arise from the fact that both plants bloom at the same time. As you can see, ragweed, pictured to the right in full bloom, is not a showy plant. The flower spikes are dull green, unlike the brilliant yellow-gold of the goldenrod (below). There is no reason for ragweed to create pretty flowers. It is a veritable pollen-factory, releasing its vast quantities of dust-like pollen granules directly into the air, spread by the slightest breeze, where it can fall on nearby ragweed blossoms and create the next generation of hayfever bombs.

Goldenrod (illustrated below), on the other hand, is pollinated by insects: butterflies, bees, wasps, nectar-eating beetles and moths and flies. Goldenrod in bloom is crawling with  pollinators! You won’t see bugs on ragweed, unless they landed on a plant just to take a break from flying. e-stout-goldenrodRagweed offers no nectar to attract pollinators because the wind does the job. Huge difference in appearance!

Ragweed is in the genus Ambrosia. It has pleasant-smelling leaves. It’s an alien to North America, an invader so invasive that it’s hardly on the radar. It is collectively considered so worthless and ubiquitous that people with allergies and asthma don’t even register it as a hazard and pull it up from roadsides and yards before it blooms.

What is the value of Ragweed flower essence? Astonishing, or not… It’s about ease. Ease of living, of breathing, of being.


New Flower Essences for Intensity

White Penstemon Flower Essence 

White tubular flowers, velvety, tinged with pinkThis flower essence gives strength and endurance from infinite source, getting in touch with that as your own infinite being.







Meadow Rue Flower Essence 

Filaments of white and yellow in tufts.Meadow Rue flower essence is a beautiful flow of benison, comfort and healing from the stark terror of separations from all that’s familiar, such as at death. Heals hatred of life and the world, and all the fears that arise from that intensity of separation caused by the rift of hatred. Another area of terror from separation is mental illness, such as psychosis, when the known, familiar reality and perception alters to something strange, unfamiliar, terrifying. This is one of the few essences that directly works with those on the Other Side. If you are aware of such an entity, or non-embodied spirit, that is in terror, you can place a bowl or cup of water with this essence added to it for the entity. Your intention will bring the entity to it.

Red-Mauve Tiger Lily Flower Essence  

Reddish recurved lily, lightly speckledThe action of tiger lily essences is to integrate and resolve polarized intensity of emotions such as anger, rejection, shame, depending on the color of the flower. This Red-Mauve Tiger Lily flower essence is a mix of reddish colors: orange, brick, red, mauve. It heals confusion, which is what we experience when we don’t have clear information about what’s going on. We don’t have clarity when what we’ve been told is untrue or incorrect, or when we block our knowlng and awareness with our beliefs or points of view about what we’d like to be true. Either situation often produces rage, frustration, resentment, which this flower essence works to dissolve and release. Underneath these emotions is the love-space of our true being, which we all desire to have acknowledged and recognized, and so rarely is. Red-Mauve Tiger Lily flower essence heals this tangle, of love, hurt & desire to connect, even when it is by hurting back.

Wild Basil Flower Essence  

Small, sprightly purple tubular flowers in a pinchushion puffReady to bust loose? This flower essence is for the wild, no-holds-barred, psychedelic, kaleidoscopic energy of total freedom, total abandon! Letting go of the assumptions of reality, the attachments to the known. Sexualness cut loose, the pure singing of being without need of a throat, dancing as the fire, flying without wings! The unpredictable, infinite possibility coursing through the body. The energy of taking one’s desires, not by force or effort–simply choosing and being.

New Iris & Phlox Flower Essences

This summer has been flying by! Here are new flower essences I made in June; how does it get better than not posting them until the last day in July? 🙂

Phlox “Chatahoochee”

lovely pale lavender blue starry clusters of blossoms with bright purple eyes

For knowing with total certainty that our guides, angels, spiritual helpers, team mates, entourage…are present. Heals us of anything that doesn’t allow this deep certainty.

Bearded Iris Riches & Splendor 

The richness & splendor of the creation, & the process of creating. Energetically supports the glory of being that. Heals the hiding of the glory from ourselves & the world. Brings awareness to where we’re refusing to contribute, where we’re unwilling to be the contribution we truly are.

Iris Graminea

Delicately ruffled and veined blossom in shades of purple from palest to violet

This lovely species Iris contributes and allows delicacy and vulnerability in the soul’s life on Earth. For the soul that expresses strength easily, this essence supports other qualities.

Japanese Iris Kindness 

white misted and veined with lavender, gold flares, lavender standards

What is kindness? It isn’t always what we’ve been taught and assume it to be…This flower essence illuminates lies and false assumptions about what is kind, sympathetic, helpful. Death is often a kindness yet we are taught to see it as cruel, tragic. This essence lifts us above the tangled lies into a clear space where we float, able to perceive what is so in each situation rather than making assumptions and using the reference points of the past to react to the present.

This essence has had quite a profound affect upon me. For the first time, I’ve been able to perceive when people are lying to me, manipulating me, trying to control me and so on. Instead of reacting, I allow their choice, and my choice is to not allow them to limit me. What a relief!

Automatic Mental-Emotional Reflexes

I uncovered something new (to me, anyway), interesting, and useful today. I’m taking Shannon O’Hara’s Intermediate Talk to the Entities class. On the last call, Shannon mentioned this awesome nugget: if we can stop judging, get out of judgement entirely, then things will go smoothly. The world will work! My juices started to flow, hearing this, and the first chance I got, I began to investigate.

Simple seemed like a place to start. So I asked if I was totally, 100% willing to be free of judgement. I was kind of expecting to be mostly willing. To my surprise, I was only 1% willing! Yikes, and very interesting! Using the Emotion Code and Access ConsciousnessTM questions and processes, I cleared this so I was 100% willing. There was some interesting stuck energy in there, inherited stuff, shock, conflict, terror, along with the usual hodgepodge.

Then I asked about judging itself; how much was I in judgement? judging myself? being the effect of judgement? and cleared that. This was a little tricky as some of these were identical, and others quite different. If you do this, ask for the specific phrase for yourself. I can instantly start judging myself, however this is different from the being the effect of judgement. The latter is something I can clear, the former is something I create in the moment. Hdigabtt?

Along the way, I found an emotional reflex that put me into judgement, and contributed to the load of past judgement I was clearing. How does this work? There’s a trigger, like I’d see something that pushed the button. Then I’d react to that with an emotion. Then I’d react to the emotional reaction with a judgement. All faster than the blink of an eye.

To clear the emotional reflex, I tried to identify it using the Body Code system and Emotion Code chart. I thought it would be something I already knew about (even though I perceived it as different, and my knowing was that it was different, sigh), like a wall or an anchor. No dice. Wasn’t in the charts. Reflex is the word that came to me and tested positive, so that’s what I cleared. “Releasing [emotion (from Emotion Code chart)] from the [emotion]-reflex” is the phrase I used with the magnet. Because any emotion on the chart (and maybe others, weip?) can be a reflex, just as there can be a “Wall of” any of the emotions, and any of them can be an anchor.

I cleared the first reflex and found another one. Along the way, somewhere in there, judgement went to 0%. Then another reflex: worthlessness reflex. And here’s the other thing! This was a hard one to clear, because I space out every time I remember I was working on clearing it. And every time I made the demand to take the action to clear it, I’d get this urge to put something in my mouth.

When I noticed this (8 rice snaps later), and asked “Is this connected to the worthlessness reflex?” I got the awareness that eating, food, storing energy in the body, is of value. An atavistic survival mechanism. Eat and store energy, as defense against worthlessness. Lack of worth is life threatening: eat to stave off the threat; eat to make it through the winter/drought/famine/war/whatever. What is worth, anyway? It’s a judgement! We use it with money and shopping all the time. We talk about ourselves as if we are for sale–how much self-worth do we have? It’s so relative (like, our blood relatives are the ones who stuck us with that price tag lol); if no one was around, would it matter?

Maybe it would. If life has no value to us, we don’t care for our bodies. Entities without fleshy bodies like ours can have low self-worth, too; they can be really stuck in heavy low energy. The Buddha said the self is an illusion. So wtf?

What else is possible? I’ve stopped eating rice snaps. Still haven’t cleared the worthlessness reflex. I wanted to write this down before I forgot–I tend to forget everything I cleared soon after clearing it. Hdigabtt?

Choosing joy in this 10 seconds!

Oops, still 49% on the worthlessness reflex…

What if judgement is what I learned to do when I perceived a differential between the energy I’m perceiving and what I’ve been taught it’s “supposed to be” or someone is telling me it’s something different from what I’m perceiving etc? Hmm….like, “eat what’s on your plate it’s good for you” and my body and awareness are going “ew that is so not what they say it is!”

What else is possible?

New Spring Flower Essences

Cowslip Flower Essence


Primula veris is a sweet little flower of the traditional cheerful primrose yellow. The flower essence action addresses how we often take what is true for us as a general or universal truth. Actually we can each have our own, individual, specific, unique truths. When we release the idea that “truth” must be true everywhere, the way the metric system is a global standard of measurement, the way the speed of light is a universal constant…then we can be free, we can be joy, we can allow caring, kindness, gratitude for what IS. Whatever we make true, we make solid and real. This locks that reality into place. We sense it as dense, contracted, and we can mistake that density and intensity as proof of reality and truth. The opposite is what occurs: this reality is shaped by what we make true and real for us. What if we ask “How can I truly be the joy? What would it take to be the truth of me without judgement or considerations of this reality?”

Larch Flower Essence

This is the American version of the Bach remedy Larch. Often I find that when I make a flower essence from a plant that is the same species, or a closely related one, to one of the Bach remedies, I get a much deeper sense and appreciation of the essence’s action. e-larch I found that In this case, with the extreme self-negation I experienced when attuning to the tree. Cancelling oneself out of the world, out of life. There’s a dull heavy energy of can’t: can’t try, can’t live, can’t grow, can’t express the soul or the self, can’t speak. The remarkable quality of this tree is the unique softness of its leaves. Most conifers have stiff, bristly, even sharp needles. The Larch’s leaves are soft like fur, inviting to the touch. To me this shows that the soul responds to being received tenderly, gently, and when this is not the case, there is a shadowing, hiding, negating of the self-expression. The other unique quality of the Larch is being deciduous; the needles turn yellow in autumn and fall from the tree, which stands bare all winter. As if the soul simply gives up and surrenders to the heavy fate of “I can’t.” The action of the essence is to heal this negation, which we see in the bright magenta-red of the female flowers (the flower pictured is male) and the brilliant sea green of the new leaves. To truly be ourselves in the world we must be gentle with ourselves, receive ourselves, and be willing to shine brightly amongst others. Even as we allow them to be who they are, we are vulnerable without fear or judgment or contraction. Simply, softly, being.  e-larches

A grove of larches in the Arnold Arboretum in Boston.


Pieris Flower Essence 

Grace & bounty, beauty & generosity, perfection of form, diversity of vistas! This is the flower essence of the “backwards question” that is really a hopeless conclusion of impossibility. When we ask “Where will the money come from?” “What else can go wrong?” “How can this disease not cause death?” “Why am I so messed up?” we close off possibilities instead of opening to receiving the profusion of what life, what the universe, is offering. The creative potency of being, of our souls, is vast, infinite, and works in diverse ways, becomes more focused and dense as it actualizes into form. WE are the creators, providers, and constrainers of our individual worlds, and our collective reality. The universe is not separate from us. Limitations we perceive we have either created or acquiesced to. e-pieris

Pieris flower essence has a primary action in our perceptions. We often limit our perceiving to our physical senses; this is what we are taught is real and right. Our eyes, ears, skin and other senses are not the creators of our perception; they are enhancers. As infinite beings, we already perceive whatever we choose. Our perceptions become more delightful when enhanced by our physical senses: more immediate, more real.

When we limit our infinite selves with beliefs in the material world as real and true, we have to dull our perceptions, also. What we experience consciously is based in our mental descriptions and interpretations of the sensory information we receive from our bodies. Our brains are exquisitely designed to interweave past with present, emotion with linearity, time with space, and with a vibrational soundtrack, and a storyline with ourselves as the main character. Then they show us a movie instantly made of this mix of actuality and interpretaion and invention with vivid sensory detail and we call it real.

Pieris flower essence dissolves and breaks the fixed stories, points of view, belief about how reality is, how it works, how we experience it.


Nanking Cherry Flower Essence

Prunus tomentosa has delicate, crumpled-looking pale pink petals, and softly fuzzy leaves. Nanking Cherry flower essence heals profound shame, wrongness, unworthiness from the mental level where we have decided, judged, concluded that this is so: we are unforgiveable, unredeemable. Mental agony, self-torture, self-punishment for whatever we’ve decided we are, for whatever soul-searing acts deserving of eternal damnation we’ve committed in this or another life or existence. Then we defend against our own judgement of ourselves; how can we stand to live with this otherwise? We work up some pride, spiritual ego, denial, validation, proof of some small way in which we aren’t what we’ve decided we are. But these are just band aids on the pit of evil we truly think we are.

We must invest absolutely in realities that support the judgements and computations we’ve performed upon ourselves, which means we must agree and make deeply meaningful our ideas of justice, right and wrong, good and evil, and every other polarity, to continue to see ourselves as deserving of what we inflict on ourselves. Round and round and round. Nanking Cherry flower essence breaks the loops, dissolves the polarities, returns us to a forgivable existence in which every belief is simply a point of view we can choose to change. Every action is a choice we can then choose to make differently. A reality in which the created universe is for us to experience, learn in, enjoy, rather than an absolute polarized construction set in eternal stone.


Virginia Bluebells Flower Essence

virginia-bluebell-flower-essenceA potent flower essence for healing anything we have experienced as being forced upon us. Unfair treatment, victimization, accidents, injuries, oppression that’s held in the body will release as this flower essence dissolves the core choice we made to be unaware that we had choice, unaware that we are infinite potent beings and nothing can happen to us without our either choosing it or relinquishing our awareness. Assists with clearing demons of unawareness. Catalyzes consciousness around anything held in the body through our refusing to be aware of it. Anywhere we have the belief that something was forced upon us, that something happened to us, is an indicator that we are holding ourselves in unawareness somehow there.


Daffodil Misty Glen Flower Essence


This daffodil flower essence assists in all soul transitions into and from bodies. This includes walk-ins entering or leaving a body. The action of the essence is to keep the integrity and coherence of the soul forces intact through the transition. This is also quite useful for soul retrieval as the Misty Glen essence supports the reintegration of the retrieved energies. Of benefit to the dying in making  a smooth, easy transition from the body. And to the newborn in maintaining the integrity of the soul during labor and birth and any stressful circumstances in the early life. If  labor is protracted or difficult, misting this essence around the mother and on her belly would support the baby’s soul.