A few interesting things have come up around the Human Design gates. The gate where my Design Moon, and the one with Mercury, had a lot of stuff on them so–so much for the theory that turned-on gates don’t accumulate as much. Maybe the unconscious Moon–especially mine, in the 12th house–accumulate? Maybe the nervous system–Mercury–accumulates? It was quite hard to focus while I was working on the Moon gate, I kept spacing out. On the other hand, the more gates I had cleared, the less clearing the others needed. By the time I was working through the last dozen, many of them only had 2 or 3 emotions on them.
Over the weekend I took a detour from clearing every Human Design gate, to get to 100% on Receiving. The healing experience I had the week before profoundly affected everything–and it was going up and down as stuff came into my awareness and got stuck until I became conscious of the stuckness and started the receiving going on it. I figured if the receiving was more total, this would go smoother.
It did feel more powerful. Then I finished the HD gates the same day, Sunday, which was the full moon. I felt a sort of pulse coming from deep in my torso and also seemingly from the Earth, up through my feet. It felt like a strong buzz of relaxation as from drinking alcohol. Though I was alert, clear headed, and colors appeared brighter, I also felt a bit like I was moving through a dense medium. Not that there was effort, I was simply aware of the density of air.
That night I couldn’t sleep. I was just buzzing with energy. This happens sometimes during full moons that are close to natal positions, which this one wasn’t particularly, but Venus conjunct, Mars square, Vesta semi-sextile, Mercury opposing my natal Sun–but here’s the thing. The full moon was the same degree as my parallax Moon. Hm, gotta wonder!
Then there was the Venus transit of the Sun–Venus of course conjuncts the Sun by degree often. The unusual part of this transit, that astronomers get excited about, is that the 2 bodies share declination as well as degree. I used to follow the declinations of the solar system bodies. This is potent stuff. When I use declinations in clients’ charts I never fail to find powerful connections that illuminate depths invisible otherwise.
Some years ago, I prescribed for a young child with a major bedwetting problem that was totally stressing out my client, a single mom. Turns out the missing father (with addiction/boundary issues) had an extremely close conjunction by declination of Neptune with something–I forget exactly what–of the child’s. The druggie-entity-ridden astral aura (so to speak) of the dad was visiting the child at night. What 4-year old wouldn’t have a tough time with that? This jumped out in the declination charts, where I couldn’t find anything nearly so obvious in the regular charts.
Dang I wish I had declinations for Dark Moon Lilith! Oh gosh, I haven’t checked my own declinations for that full moon! Duh. You can see what sort of state I’ve been in.
Monday–day after full moon Geminii/Sagittarius, and day of the Venus transit–I pretty much stayed in bed all day. Not enough sleep, weird chills in the early morning for at least an hour, headachey/flu feeling–yuck. This also is something that happens occasionally from energy wack-o-ness. This is one (plenty more!) reason I am doing this Emotion Code clearing–clear the circuits so this wacky stuff calms down. It has to a great extent, btw. I had intense migraines for decades; haven’t had a bad one in several years. I went through a series of liver/GB meridian intensity in conjunction with vomiting out emotional/mental crap from childhood.
That left me feeling dragged out for a couple days, especially as I couldn’t sleep much the next 2 nights. Buzz buzz buzz! I was sleepy all day. Here’s the thing: body, chakras, subtle bodies, meridians, HD gates all allowing Truth 100%. Receiving 100%. Pulsing energy rising from Earth through body out crown. Very cool. Not the total illumination I’m always hoping for Big Grin! So let’s get on to something else…
Struck me that Choice is key to the health/energy stuff. All these sensitivities I’ve had–the chemicals, foods & EMFs, and since Access the judgements, thoughts, emotions of people in the vicinity not even that close it seems–have in common that somewhere in a galaxy long long ago and far far away, I got into some kind of thing about healing the universe. Rikka Zimmerman talked about this last month on her livestream Q&A: we (me and a bunch of others who took the vow to be a universal surrogate) got the truth (we have potent healing capacities) attached to a lie: by taking whatever it is out of others and processing it through our bodies, we are healing/enlightening the universe. Yes, we can heal the stuff we take out, but whoever we took it out of won’t then get the experience of having that stuff. All this done without choice at the time, for those who were getting their ignorance/illness/negativity etc sucked out; or choice for us, the healers/surrogates.
Ever since taking that vow we are stuck doing this somehow, someway. Thanks to Access Facilitator Liam Phillips, I discovered I was doing this with chemicals, sucking them out of every person and animal on Earth, and Earth itself. No wonder I got so sick after doing “Who does this belong to?” for 3 days! I concluded I wasn’t any good at doing this because I didn’t feel lighter from returning to sender, so I kept doing it. For a week. Sheesh, I got chills, fever, vomiting…ouch! Liam pointed out that when I do this, I take choice away from those I’m taking stuff out of.
Every time I get overloaded since then I sooner or later realize that I’m sucking something out of somewhere or something or someone in order to fulfill that ancient vow to heal the universe. So: Choice. It’s not like I have choice and no one else; no. Nobody has choice in this scenario. I don’t, because I don’t even realize I’m doing it. Sucks, yes?
Hard to stop ALL of this. I’ve run clearings, returned to sender, uncreated and destroyed the decisions, etc. Some improvement each time. Today I used the Emotion Code on Allowing Choice for everyone in the universe including myself. Excellent.
Ever seen a sewing basket with a bunch of different colors of thread tangled up inside? Here’s the interesting thing I experienced: it’s like my body is filled with all these sine waves (threads of different colors) tangled together, all vibrating crazily and at different orientations. It seems to me that having cleared the gates–the 64 gene codons–there is so much less craziness–noise–in the system, that I can now actually make out that there is a bunch of vibration going on. Times I’d run the magnet and this is what I’d experience.
Money was next. It jumped out at me that I’ve lived my life assuming that money comes from doing, from activity with the purpose of making money. This was programmed into me as a child: do chores=get allowance. Get babysitting job=get paid. I attempted to program my daughter this way out of a belief in its reality. Dang!
Harrison Klein says “Money follows joy.” I’m pretty sure Gary & Dain say essentially the same thing. Did I have any belief in this? Zero. 75% belief in activity makes money. Sigh. I spent a couple hours today reversing those. Then I looked at where money comes from and how much joy I experienced around those things. In retrospect I oughtn’t to be surprised that there were heart walls towards those activities. Catch-22 time.
The long and short of all this is that I feel remarkably more clear, now, though much less certain. Clearly living more in the question. This is deconstructing the old reality by releasing what is holding the points of view in place.